A lil me inside me?

Ok, today I decided to type something in regards to me as an individual! Truth be told, not many people actually know me inside out and to those that can, I thank you for trying! I guess I did grow up pretty sternly by my parents and after my dad left us, I took after my mother (not that is a proud thing). It is enough to get me thru life but it kinna makes me look heartless in a way. I remember me keeping everything inside at one point and not wanting to voice out how I actually did feel but rather pretend to be happy and say things that I am actually not feeling. Stupeeed rite? But last time, you will try not to look sad and pathetic (I really don’t want any pity from anyone and being in Form 2, all I could think was, LIVE THRU LIFE TO THE FULLEST). So I told myself that I NEED to keep everything inside.

I guess that brings me here typing this particular post. Someone told me that I should be more open and more caring to others. Really? Am I that bad? They say I don’t show it. OMG. The first person that came to my head was my mother. I am becoming like her. Well, that is what I think, I am not blaming or saying anything bad about my mother. I still remember in my first year, I felt that my mother didn’t care (homesick la frennnnnnn) and I cried silently in my room. Loris and Yee Lyn came in and started comforting me. Truth be told, I was actually feeling weird that they did it. Cause I normally keep my troubles and my blues to myself. But on the other hand, it kinna shows how caring they can be! Thank yous darls!*hearts**hearts* And I remember me leaving to stay in Clayton, we all cried quite heavily, well only me and Loris but yeah, it was werid at the same time touching. I have to get used to it!

So being a lil secretive about her private life is a bad huh? I mean not in total private, private but rather miss “troubled inside” is bad huh? Even PY can tell how I express myself to people. She said I am the type that does not show that I care. Sad huh? Why do I act this way? Why can’t I open up more? I really don’t know but all I know is I don’t mean to show that I don’t care in any way and I am sorry to those that actually felt it! I really didn’t mean to. Sigh. I want people to know that I am always here eventho I don’t ask them directly what is wrong with them. I don’t normally do that. I very shy to ask in case, it triggers the crying spot which I really don’t know how to handle. So, better give me a heads up before u tear k, I don’t want to stand there and trying to look for words to comfort. But at most times, I keep quiet and only voice out certain things. I is the scared that he/she might cry more. Senso tau!

Ok, I am done with my “ME” post and I will move on to other things.

Exams are near and sei lo, I am no where near ready. Chilling and slacking really hits u kao kao when u even choose to just relax for a while! Will start studying properly soon. Those that deny they studied or is studying, lei hei sei la! Bollocks la u all! After exams, PARTYYYYYYYYYYY! Oh wait, the boifren coming! And so far WOOHOO, banyak trips sial. I am going to be broke in June. The poor boifren is going to be lagi broke when he comes here! Anyone wants to go Sydney in JULY? Mummy is coming down . I miss my mother. What else, OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Skiing.

Sight-seeing.

Dinners.

Luncheons.

Breakkies.

Drinking.

Chilling.

And the most UPSETTING part, the darlings will be going to Thailand and this Li is going to be with Sha and the rest and they are going to webcam with me. To make me feel so jealoussss sial oh-so-better! But all in all, I miss them loads. Seriously. When all of us chat, it feels like we are all talking face to face! I know Li is here and I do find the comfort of talking to her, esp when she layans me!

Should I keep my long hair or cut it short again?

Should I perm it or leave it as it is?

Choices; Choices

Ok, I am off !

Nights!

mC

Sometimes, I wonder

The pain comes on and off,

I think I might be sick, somehow.

Kings and Py said I will be fine,

But being the paranoid person I am.

I should go and see a doctor.

TOUCH WOOD

For all I know, it might be nothing.

Ok, off to have dinner! Take care people!

No updates today.

Seriously, can missing home be anymore worst?

They planning to go Thailand.

WTF. So WTF

- Nothing will ever be the same again -

mC

Now, I am bored.

Nah, not bored. Just couldn’t think of the perfect title for this post. Anyway today I will be talking about relationships.. why? Not because I am having a prob with Ryan (I love him to bits!) but rather I am being surrounded by interesting stories. Hmmm. Well not really interesting but rather stories that I keep on hearing over and over again.

Ok, do you agree with me when I say that some girls are over sensitive?

(pls, don’t whack me. This is an honest opinion).

Well, maybe not sensitive but rather a bit emotional?

Ok, I should stop before I get mouthfuls from people around me.

For those that are in a relationship (including myself of course), don’t you ever feel as tho the other one has done not enough? Truth be told, I think Ryan has done more than enough but I know sometimes I expect him to do the impossible (I do say sorry k or think twice before saying it). Some girls think that guys are mind readers, asking them to read the signs and expression on our faces. Come on, face the fact that most guys have no idea what we are trying to tell them whenever we tell them things indirectly. Well, I would rather say that they are straight forward. They kinna do wat we say not thinking that there are more to it. I won’t blame them, they are not superman, they are just them, they are just guys. And girls, I know sometimes they do things without taking into account how we feel. We are a bit more gentle and subtle but they are more aggressive and more laid back. Well no one is wrong and no one is right. There is not wrong or right in a relationship.

I just got back form an outing and I heard a few stories and sometimes, we, both the guy and the girl can say harsh things without even realising it. It will be painful but hey sometimes people just say the wrong things, don’t they? For those that is still unsure where the heck is my bf, HE IS IN KL PEOPLE. M-A-L-A-Y-S-I-A. Don’t ask me anymore or so help me, I will kick you!. Long distance is never easy,  I am having one with Ryan, I really try not to put myself in a position that I will regret at the end of the day. It is already killer enough to be apart and now things are going to be worst with some small nonsensical issue that need not even exist in the first place? I try to avoid. I never said that Ryan and I are perfect. We do fight but we fight because of real issues. Real issues that requires a decision at the end of the day. Well, it has been awhile since we did that (not tat I am hinting that it will happen soon k).

All in all, I think both parties should compromise and no one should literally take control of the whole relationship. It is between 2 people. Not one on one. So, please think twice before starting something. Think if it is worth quarelling or rather just let the “itch” fade away.

Ok, the above was rather my opinion and I am not saying directly to anyone in particular k. Please jangan terasa, can?

OK, enough of the ramblings. Pichas time.

Classic faces of Kings and WIlls

Hungry! Hungry!

I like this picture of the four of us! Ok la. The picture is not complete.

I know la, some of you must be thinking, “why same people over and over and over again?”. Too bad, we is the sayang them alot so cannot ar?! They paling layan us when we need teman and how do they do it?

By blasting loud ass Techno in King’s car.

Ok, I am off to bed now. Quite tired. I miss the boifren. BOYFREN, WHERE ARE YOU?

Just kidding.

I miss him tho, seriously.

And of course the babes in KL.

Grrrr, just found out that Li is staying with SHA! (she tried to ask me to go back with her)

Nights!

mC

Updates! Updates!

With so much to do and so little time left, I am left with 3 people laughing and kidding around during pension’s meeting and me wanting to shop. Woohhoo. I realise it was long since I updated. Nothing much have been happening apart from work and uni and yumcha and chilling sessions.

Fine, will go in a little deeper k?

The big Yes-es

• I finally bought something I was eyeing for sometime now
• I finally watched a movie in HOYTS after so long (Py is much more worse than I am)
• I am being pampered by my mum and my bro (they are overseas, don’t ask how we do it)
• Southpark
• I is going to SYNDEY and PHILIP ISLAND during June (pls, dun ffk!) and skiing and sight seeing (i think)
• People are coming down to Melb in June (dances like an idiot)
• I bought Hot Chocolate to keep me warm during winter.
• Cookies and junks make Py and myself happy
• Yen girl ( don’t ask why, but I have my reasons)
• Yumcha sessions at night to take my mind off things

The big No-es

• I have a freaking ulcer
• The weather is cold
• My toe boo boo is not healing
• I am not drinking enough water
• I have too little shoes
• I am having stomach pains that are on and off (sigh)
• I think I have an incurable diseases (touch wood!)
• Big big mess in my room
• Insufficient cupboard space

Did I miss anything? I will update another time with more details k? I just came home and would like to wash up and drink Hot Choc. MMMMMM…..

Just a picture to show ya all that I am doing alrite in the midst of all busy-ness of life.

Ok, I am off to watch South Park.

Nites people.

p/s: sorry about the short post. I am quite tired.

mC