What does it really mean?

Ever felt like things are not going your way?

Ever felt as though life is just unjust and unfair?

Ever felt that what you have been building so far just disappeared in a blink of an eye?

When a problem comes up, we think the worst of everything and not knowing what to do, we take the easy way out; all in all, we just wanna comfort ourselves by just merely solving the issues. I read June’s blog and I realise too I wanna be a diff person, a better person. A person who has better morals and ethics (not being funny k!). Having to change on how I see things and never judging anything before I actually know what I am judging. I tend to look at life at the negative side at times, thinking that the world is not what it is suppose to be. At the end of the day, we decided how OUR world should be. We determine who we want to be, who we choose to be and who we will become in the future.

A few days back, after showering, I sat on my black comfy chair and suddenly I felt a deep emotion stepping in and in mere seconds, it felt as tho something was pulling my heart, making it heavy and triggering points that were not suppose to be triggered in the first place. I didn’t know what was wrong but all I knew was I was feeling the shittiest feeling on earth (no such word, who cares!). May talked to me but all I could do was cry. I really had no idea what was wrong with me but all I could do was cry (I laughed and cried at the same time, seriously, try it and lets see how you handle the stress….). I did not want anyone to help me, I did not want any comfort, I just wanted things to be how they should be and I wanted the feeling to go away cause to me, i was living my life each day like how I am suppose to. Bear in mind, the next day I had my period.

After the next day, I came to realise why I was cried. I felt alone. I felt so alone. It is not that I have no one. I have amazing close friends that I can lean on, a wonderful family who would give the world to me and an amazing bf who teaches me to look at things positively. It was just that I felt as tho everything has left me. Every single one that is close to me just decided to pack their bags and leave me be. Slowly, I tell myself that things are not that bad. I have people around me who wants the best for me and is always there to help me whenever I am down. I thank each and every single one of them.

As I learn to push away the thought, I see myself smiling and laughing again. It is great to be yourself and let the probs of the world take its course and leave. Obviously, I was still dwelling on the feeling but it came to a complete stop when the line, “NOTHING WORTH HAVING COMES EASY” caught my attention. It is seriously a very helpful line. It applies to everything in our lives, even it means us having to change for the better. We have to work towards what want to build. Friendship, career, relationships and our own individual well-being.

That was then I decided to leave all the small things in the world behind and open up to be a much more better person. I am learning to trust people alil more deeper and opening up to them more and slowly believing that they will always be there for me no matter wat the circumstances are. Appreciating life as I continue to live in it and be grateful for each blessings. Having to not look at every problems as though the world is going to end anytime soon. Drama i know but, CHANGING!

This post is dedicate to every single person who has always been there for me, helping me thru my deepest time of needs, telling me that life is always not how it always seems to be, changing me for the better, being there to just listening to me ramble about stuff, knowing how to cheer me up, knowing my fave foods and the small small things I like in life and of course last but not least, thank you all for being patient with me.

I love you all to bits and I will never trade it for anything else in the world.

To a special someone:

p/s: Hang in there babe, I know all hope seems dim but believe that there is still hope. We are all just a call away. We will always be with you and we will help you thru your hardship. Don’t give up on anything yet. Be strong and continue to fight.

p/p/s: The pictures are chosen randomly, please don’t be offended if you are not in! I am so sorry but I have no time to go thru one by one! I only picked the ones that I remember the most! Sorry!

I need to study. Been staying on the comp since afternoon!

Mcd so tak jadi-ed!

So will be staying in.

Toodles.